What Dean Didn't Know
by xxnotamalfoyxx
Summary: Dean doesn't know a lot of things. He doesn't know what the hell a Hufflepuff is? He doesn't know how a blue-eyed witch can look that amazing. He doesn't know why he basically has detention for the rest of his school career. He also doesn't know why the staircases try to kill him every day. Lastly, he doesn't know why British girls are so much more difficult to handle.
1. Chapter 1

**| 1 |**

* * *

 **"WELL** they're definitely overcompensating for something." I mutter to Sam as I gaze at the large glittering castle looming in the distance through the gate.

I hear a pointed cough beside me and turn to look at our guide, who looks highly offended...

 _Whoops?_

Sam sighs beside me, "ignore him" he says, "he's the one overcompensating".

"Thanks, Sammy" I huff in response.

We both grab hold of our luggage once again and begin the seemingly never ending walk towards the castle. Once we reach the main entrance, the large looming doors seem to slowly open by themselves. I give Sam a wary look and head on in anyway. Things can't get much worse can they?

 _I was wrong... Oh so very wrong...but that comes later_

Upon entering the castle (who puts a school in a castle anyway?) we immediately release that there is no reception, in fact here is no one at all.

"What, did everyone else go home? All they're missing is the ghosts playing on the looming accordions!"

The voice behind me does not make me scream, if sam tells you otherwise he is lying.

"Ah, the accordion. I remember those days. Alas, my hands just go through it when I last tried to play"

"Jesus Christ!" is all I manage to spit out as the specter comes out of the wall from behind me, Sam's snickering beside me telling me he already knew he was there, the little shit!

"The names Sir Nicholas, welcome to Hogwarts."

I chuckle, "Sir?"

The floating apparition sighs "Yes, well most of the student body tends to call me nearly headless Nick, though I have asks them to cease..."

Sam looks baffled, but I don't think I want to know.

Nonetheless Sam asks anyway " Nearly headless? How can-"

A voice (thankfully) interrupts him,

" I wouldn't ask that if I were you, unless you haven't eaten dinner that is. . ."

I turn sharply to the right to find a bushy haired brunette chick standing with a small smirk

"You people need warning bells on you." I snap.

She glares, and sneers out "My name is Hermione Granger, you two must be the new exchange students from across the pond."

Sam once again sighs, like this is somehow my fault, "I'm Sam Winchester, and the jerk beside me is my older brother Dean"

"Bitch", I snark back. Hermione's eyes further narrow at my comment.

"You wouldn't happen to know how to get to Headmaster Dumbledore's office, would you", Sam asks, ignoring me, "we're rather lost at the moment."

Hermione smiles at him, "ah, yes, quite simple really, just follow the corridor down past the third suit of armour, then take the hall to your left and follow it until you reach the portrait of the dancing maiden in red. From there take the right corridor to the staircases, and then continue up to the seventh floor. From there walk approximately two yards to the left, until you run into a rather boisterous suit of armour, he is going to tell you a joke, laugh, it won't make sense. From him, turn right and continue until you run into a large gargoyle statue on the right side of the hall, tell it the password and then step on the first stair and it will take you right up."

Sam nods along, while I try to figure out how she is managing to say it all in one breath.

"Thanks" Sam says, "What" I say at the same time.

Hermione waves goodnight and takes a staircase to the left, while i turn to Sam and ask "did you get any of that?" he sighs and walks away from me.

Oh, this year is going to be just _awesome._

* * *

 ** _Authors Note: Hello! Welcome to my new story. The story chapters will be fairly short as I like to break up my chapters. I hope you continue to read and enjoy!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**| 2 |**

* * *

 **THEN** finally we reach the stairs, amazingly (20 minutes later).

I peer at Sam, "what floor did she say again?"

He groans "Seventh".

I look up ward to the endless rows upon rows of stairs, "you sure? That don't seem like seven to me..."

One of the ladies in the portrait beside us pipes up, "that's because you can only really see five from the ground floor, dear, the seventh comes into view near third floor."

I turn to Sammy, "oh, this year is going to be just _awesome_."

He sighs, and steps onto the first stair.

I look up again.

 _Son of a Bitch_

"Well, we have a lot of stairs to cover. You coming or not?" Sam yells back at me already half way up the first set.

My fear of heights is really not gonna be useful this year is it? I slowly begin to follow him up about 6 flights, as there's 2 between each floor.

It when I catch up to him on the 7th set it when the real trouble starts.

Out of breath I snarl at Sam, "can this get any worse?"

Something or someone must have heard me... I'm voting satan.

The staircase shifts underneath us, and then pivots from its original position...with us still on on it.

"Huh," Sam raises his eyebrow, "I guess the staircases move here..." he states as if talking about the many facts he knows about unicorns.

"Gee, I hadn't noticed", I grit out, holding both railings like my life depended on it, which, by the way, it did! What the hell is wrong with this freaking school.

"Okay Dean, you can let go now" Sam says. Like hell, I am.

"Oh no, that's not happening", I inform him.

"Dean, it stopped moving, we need to go."

"For now. It stopped moving FOR NOW! Who the FUCK thinks up MOVING STAIRCASES, and then thinks, gee, you know what sounds SAFE? Let's put these in a SCHOOL! WHO DOES THAT!"

ok, so maybe that came out a bit more hysterically than i intended it to...

A voice resounds behind me (again), "actually, it's the school herself, she's sentient. More often than not, she's only does it for the students benefit. You must have been going the wrong way."

"Huh, benefit, tell that to us when she let us straight to Fluffy last time." says another voice.

Sam and I both spin around quickly, almost getting whip lash, to see two girls standing behind us.


	3. Chapter 3

**| 3 |  
**

* * *

 **THE** girl standing closest to us, who I assume made the first comment, has the bluest eyes i've ever seen in my life. They were so blue when we locked eyes I felt like I could drown in them. She has a sweet smile on her slightly round face, long curly black hair framing it. I almost didn't realize I was staring until a hand comes up in front of my face and snaps me back to reality. Oops.

"I'm Harriet, and this is Castiel" the second girl says, pointing to the blue eyed bombshell, though when i looked closer, i could see she wasn't doing too bad herself. Deep green eyes, long wild black hair and a pair of classy round spectacles perched on her nose. They could definitely be sisters, possibly even twins. Huh, never really got the whole twin kink. Now I do.

"The names Dean, Dean Winchester. The runt is Sam, my little brother. Pleasure to meet you, sweetheart." I say, taking Cas' hand to kiss the back of it.

The sisters' eyes narrow dangerously, but Cas barely reacts, just tilts her head to the side in the most adorable fashion.

Sam coughs awkwardly, and pipes up with "Are those your house crests on your uniform? Are you in different houses." Nice way of discreetly checking out their tits there Sam, but he's right, they are wearing different crests.

"I'm in Slytherin" the sister says sharply, directing the venom in her voice toward me. Heh , she's pretty hot when she's angry, wonder if it's genetic?

Smirking, i respond with, "oh, well gee, shouldn't you let me take you out for dinner before you slither in?"

Her smile gets even more sharp and she laughs, cutting off the sound abruptly with a scowl and "piss off".

Sam sighs again, and once again tries to decrease the awkward tension (good luck with that), "and you?" he asks Cas

"'I'm in Hufflepuff", she says with a kind smile.

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff", I gwaff.

Her response draws my attention to her lips, they look so soft. I wonder if they taste as good as they look. Better yet, i wonder how they would feel wrapped around my-

A sharp pain hit my side, and i look to it to discover Sam's elbow, deeply embedded into it. Ouch.

When I look up again Cas is tilting her head in that adorable way again, and I realize she has just finished explaining what exactly a huffleduff...hufflestuff...jigglypuff (oh hell, whatever) is. Hope that wasn't important information...

"Oh, i get it", I say, hoping I can play off my inattention. Based on the way her smile once more lights up her face, I succeed. Oh, I'm definitely gonna need to make sure she smiles more often.

Her sister, however, is not so easily fooled. Just as she's to about open her mouth in what I have no doubt is a smart remark about exactly what it is I see, she is cut off by another voice.

"Miss Potter, Miss Novak, is there a reason you're blocking the stairway?" an elderly lady says from behind Cas and who I now realize isn't her sister.

"It's not us that's blocking the stairs, Professor McGonagall, it's these two." Harriet says pointedly.

"Oh!", the woman exclaims, "you two are Dean and Sam Winchester, the sons of auror John Winchester! I have been looking for you too for the past hour, you were supposed to be in the headmaster's office hours ago!"

I deadpan, "really, huh, we hadn't noticed."

The look I get from both the professor and Harriet tells me that was probably not the wisest thing I have ever said. Shit. Even Cas gives me a pointed look. I'm guessing this lady is not someone to mess with. Double shit.

"Yes, well. Follow me then, we still have to get you sorted and to your dormitories before it's past curfew."

She pauses, turns to Cas and Harry and says "and I expect both of you in bed, I don't care in which dormitory, but in a bed, nonetheless."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall." They say in unison, although we can see them both smirk once she wasn't looking.

Oh yeah, definitely get the twin kink now.

The girls begin their way back down the stairs they way they came, I wonder why they were headed up here anyway. Cas waving goodbye sweetly while Harriet grabs her arm and tries to drag her away faster.


	4. Chapter 4

**| 4 |**

* * *

 **MCGONAGALL** leads us further up the stairs, thankfully they didn't move anymore. McGonagall probably scared even the sentient Castle into obeying. When we finally make it to the Gargoyle that that Granger chick was talking about she waves her hand and says "sherbert lemon", this makes the wall move away to reveal more freaking stairs.

"Go straight up and through the doors, Professor Dumbledore will be right with you." She states, then walk away further into the castle. This place will never not be creepy. At least Illvermorny had electricity for goodness sake.

We head up the stairs (and that is going to a common occurrence this year apparently) but when we get to the top, (surprise surprise) there is no one there.

What is it with this place!

"Oh for fuck sakes, seriously, where the hell is the headmaster. Seven thousand fucking sets of stairs later, and still nothing. I thought dad said Hogwarts was the best wizarding school in Europe. Talk about a let down", I scowl.

"Dean, once again, you are being a drama queen. We have been less than 24 hours and we never attended a class. Let's also not forget, in the course of the hours we have been here, you have complained more than 95% of the time, pissed off a teacher and two students and the rest of the time you spent making googly eyes at the only person i have ever that has been able to put up you for more the 3 seconds upon first meeting."

"Yeah, I guess if she goes here it may actually be not so bad."

Sam sighs loudly in response, and his fingers do that thing they do when he gets a migraine. Whoops.

"Do you even remember her name?" sam says, irritated

I pause, oh fuck.

"Um, Cas, uh, Castiel, uhhhhh, Potter-Novak?"

"Dean," he scowls again.

"Harriet Potter. You know, as in, the girl who lived?" he continues when all he receives is a blank look from me. So what, we lived too, that's kinda the point of life

"The girl who what, what so special about her living?"

Sam takes a deep breath, probably trying not to punch me.

"The baby who defeated the dark lord Voldemort 13 years ago? The Potter heiress who lives with Lord Black, the one who was falsely accused of her parents murder? Do you even pay attention in history at all? Or the news maybe? Have you been living under a rock for the past 3 years?" Sam rants, clearly not as out of breath as he should be with all those stairs.

"Oh, right,I wasn't really paying attention to her. She looks fun but damn if Cas didn't make my brain go south. Did you see her eyes? I'd tap that in a heartbeat."

Sam stares at me, blinks, and then deadpans, "Dean, you are a moron."

What? I'm just being honest!?

I sigh loudly. "Seriously though, does the headmaster even exist?"

Once again, a voice answers without prompting (or any warning), "I can assure you Mister Winchester, I am quite real." and would you look at that, this room had a second floor. Whoops.

"Professor Dumbledore sir. I'll be heading back down to the dungeons now. I have more papers to grade." Another man says, coming into view over the balcony.

"Yes, of course Professor Shurley. Balthazar you may also head up to your rooms. Please also keep in mind, perhaps try to make your potions less explosive next time, before handing them in." The headmaster says to another young man that begins to walk down the stairs on the left side. While the Professor walks down on the right.

How many people were up there this whole time, seriously? Is the whole of the student body gonna come down from there.

As the staircase opens to let the Professor and Balthazar (and what the hell kind of name is Balthazar anyway) back down to the corridor, Professor Shurley turns and look me dead in the 's unnerving.

"Oh and Mr. Winchester, you can also join Mr. Novak tonight after your sorting, in detention, for the vulgar commentation about a fellow student's virtue. Ill will see you at nine o'clock sharp in my office." He gives me a sinister smile, I have a feeling that's not gonna be the last time I see it.

Balthazar smiles at me as well, though something about is distinctly unfriendly.

"See you at 9 Winchester, i'll be sure to tell my baby sister Castiel you think so highly of her."

Son of a bitch, that spells trouble. Sam just snorts at my pain, and I know he will be no help.

And then the the staircase shuts behind them, and it's just us and the headmaster. He also comes down from the upper floor, in his hand a mangy, beaten up old hat with a wrinkled rim. Oh nasty, I hope there's no lice in that thing.

"Come sit, let's get you boy's sorted" is all the old man says, before we are seated and the mangy old thing is being dropped on my head. Great.

"I am not mangy, you little brat, I'm weathered! You sort nearly a million different students into their proper houses for over 2 thousand years and see how long you look like a spring chicken!"

Even the fucking hats talk. Why am I not surprised.

"Let's see, not a bad mind, a little too oblivious for ravenclaw though, kind but not naive, cunning, you would do well in slytherin. No, you're brave, very brave. You would do anything for your little brother. Loyal, extremely loyal, hufflepuff would suit you."

Oh god not that again. What even is a hufflepuff?

"So that's a no, then again the slytherins would eat you alive, so it's going have to be. . .

"Gryffindor, what's a Gryffindor, is that a cousin of Hufflepuff or something?"

Sam groans, but the headmaster smiles. "Well sorted, I think. I'm sure Harriet and Balthazar will agree."

"You're turn," Dumbledore says, turning to Sam. He sits down hesitantly and he places the hat on his head. It sits there for a few moments while my brother has an amazed look on his face before it shouts out "RAVENCLAW!"

"Okay that one I know, that's the hand of a raven right. . ."

Both Sam and the Headmaster blink at me a few times before Sam's face turns into a scowl while the Headmasters turns into a smirk.

"Dean you are an idiot, you know that right?" He states matter a factly.

Before I can say anything in response there's a knock at the door. A girl probably a few years older than me peeks her head in through the crack.

"You sent for me Headmaster?" She questions.

He motions for Sam to go towards the girl before saying, "Yes, . Young Sam here is a new member of your house. Could you show him the way to his dorms?"

Before Sam or I could protest or other the door was shut behind him and I was alone with the Headmaster.

There's an awkward silence for a few moments before Dumbledore looks up at the clock above my head and back down at me.

"I would hurry to the dungeons, you're already late for detention." He says with a smile.

"...dungeons?"

Seriously this school is fucked.

*10 minutes later*

So it's a lot more difficult to get to the dungeons than the headmaster lead me to believe. I walk slowly through the corridor before I see Balthazar leaning against one of the door frames at the end of the hall. Professor Shurley strides out just at that moment and gives me a pointed look.

"You're late Winchester."

He strides past me without another word.

"I got lost?" I offer up as an excuse.

"It doesn't matter, now hurry have lots of work to do tonight."

Balthazar pushes off the doorframe with his foot and walk up to me swinging his arm over my shoulder. We slowly follow behind Professor Shurley.

"Don't worry old chap, i'll take good care of you." He says, I look up to see the same smile I saw earlier in the office.

Son. of. a. Bitch.

* * *

 ** _Authors Note: The next chapter should be up soon and we will also be switching POV! Pls comment and let me know what you think!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**| 5 |**

* * *

 **Harriet POV**

"Nox," I hiss under my breath putting out my wand.

I enter the common room as quietly as I can hoping no one will notice me. Normally I would make sure I came in earlier than this or at least had my cloak with me but alas I was caught off guard. Those stupid boys on the stairs earlier kept us out longer than expected. Luckily both Cas and I's common rooms where downstairs instead of up. I don't think I could have handled another minute of that Wincester boy looking at Cas like a bloody piece of meat.

Like seriously you couldn't have been more obvious?

Just as I finish navigating across the room in the dark a light switches on near the fireplace. I spin around quickly startled to see the deep green armchair slowly begin to swivel around towards me. A figure in a dark hooded robe comes into a view.

"I've been expecting you. . ." he says in a sinister voice.

For fuck sakes. . .

". . . seriously Gabe?" I deadpan.

He stands up quickly removing the hood, to reveal his signature grin on his face.

"I've always wanted to do that!" he says excitedly.

I walk over towards him and without warning whack him upside the head. He grimaces, bringing his hand up to rub his head.

"What was that for?" He questions, as we both move to sit down on the closest couch. I sink into as far as possible, it's been a long day.

"That was for being an idiot and annoying me in the process," I tell him, with an unapologetic smile. "What are you still doing up anyway?"

He holds up his finger as if to say " just a second" and looks down at the watch on his wrist.

Oh, this can't be good. . .

"5. . 4. . 3 . . 2 . . " he counts down.

 **KABOOM!**

"BLOODY HELL!" comes a scream from up the dorm room stairs. You can hear multiple storming footsteps coming running down the stairs followed by coughing.

"What the FUCK SHURLEY?" I hear Theo scream just as he makes it off the last step.

He's followed by Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle coughing and swearing under their breath. Theo makes his way over to us at the couch and gives Gabe another whack on the head. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle not far behind.

"See, Potter, those ones I deserved."

I roll my eyes at him just as Draco plops down beside me on the couch still spluttering slightly. His eyes still half lidded from sleep.

"Come on Gabriel, on the first night of term?" Draco questions, obviously annoyed.

"You're just upset cause you were having a very _interesting_ dream," Theo mentions, raising his eyebrows at Draco.

"Piss off Nott!" Draco spits, rubbing his eyes. Theo just chuckles under his breath and takes the seat across from us.

"Actually, boys." Gabriel pips up. " That was courtesy of the Weasley twins, I let them in earlier this afternoon."

He glances down at his watch again and backs up towards the stairs. Oh no.

"Then what exactly were you doing when you disappeared earlier?" Draco asks, leaning his head on the back of the couch. They were gonna be stuck down here for a least an hour until the smoke dissipated anyway.

I almost felt bad for them. Almost.

"3 . . 2 . . 1 . ." he starts counting down again with a smirk.

All of a sudden you hear a high pitched scream coming from the 4th year girls dorm.

"FUCKING HELL!" a very angry voice yells, followed by many other curse words. We all turn to look at the stairs as all the girls come running down looking very sinister. If it weren't for their bright gold hair that is.

Gabriel stands up looking very pleased with himself and starts laughing. I can see the other boy in the room are also trying not to laugh at the interesting sight.

"Such great school spirit girls! You'll be cheering on the Gryffindorks so well in their first Quidditch match."

Pansy Parkinson looking extra sinister with her sparkling gold hair comes up and punches Gabriel in the arm.

"You're a bloody wanker you know that!' She seethes.

"Only for you, Parkinson." he quips back.

I roll my eyes at his helpless flirting, this boy is gonna get it one day from all the people he's pranked.

"You are SO lucky I wasn't up there," I say glaring at him.

He ruffles my hair, making it even messier if that was even possible.

"Lucks got nothing to do with it sweetheart," he grins, leaving us all in the common room. "None at all."

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter is already written and I'm** **dying to post it! But first I would really love some reviews from you all if that's not too much to ask?**


	6. Chapter 6

**| 6 |**

* * *

 **I** slam my books down on my desk and spin to Draco who's already sitting in the seat beside me.

"Can you believe that Professor Shurley would ever let Dumbledore bring him in a new assistant?" I question.

"I mean seriously," I said glancing over to Draco doodling in the margin of his book. "No one can top Professor Lupin."

It looks like a heart and letters or something. What is he doing?

I wave my hand in front of his face, "earth to Draco".

He snaps out of his daze while slamming his book shut looking startled.

What's his problem?

"What? I'm not doing anything!" He blurts out, protectively clutching his notebook to his chest.

I take a step back a little startled by his outburst, normally he's calm, cool and collected Draco Malfoy. He's probably sleep deprived due to Gabriel and the twins pranks last night.

His platinum blonde hair is gelled up as usual but a few strands fall into his grey eyes. His normally immaculate robes are slightly crooked and his normal smirk is replaced with a confused expression.

"Are you alright, Drac?" I ask concerned.

It's slightly unnerving seeing him like this.

His startled expression softens and he sighs deeply, "yeah, fine. Just tired."

I sit back down in my seat next to his and open my notebook to prepare to take notes. Despite most people complaints back Professor Shurley his one of my favorite teachers. He is fair in all grades and frankly the way he explains things makes them highly more interesting than they probably actually are. Plus he hates Snape, so that's one thing we have in common.

Fucking Snape, that stupid git. Anyway . . .

Just when I was about to start wondering where Professor Shurley could be, the doors at the back of the room burst open and he waltz' in, his robes billowing behind him. Somehow he always managed to look graceful.

Wish I could do that . . .

"Good afternoon, I hope that all your first days of the term are going well." He tells the class, as he brings himself to the front of the room.

"As you all know, during last night's opening feast, Headmaster Dumbledore announced that our school will be hosting the Triwizard tournament."

Ah yes, that stupid thing. As if this school wasn't dangerous enough every other year. At least this year I'm not "old enough" for anything to be trying to kill me.

"At the end of September, two other wizarding schools will be joining us. Due to this, I have asked the Headmaster to find me a new assistant. There will 2x more students in each class due to this."

So the rumors about him getting an assistant where true. This should be _interesting_.

"Dumbledore wanted to cancel all of the second-semester classes, but I told him half the school has very important tests to take next year, making it an incredibly _stupid_ idea."

I glance over to see what Draco's making of all of this and he looks just as shocked as I am.

Professor Shurley smirks at the reactions of the class and then glances over his shoulder at the corner of the classroom.

There stands the looming form of Alastor 'Madeye' Moody.

His smirk grows a little sharper.

"Unfortunately my very competent assistant of last year was subject to a terrible illness, perhaps you've heard of it?"

I tense. He _wouldn't._

He continues with a deadpan drawl, "it's called the 'stupidity of society' disease, some symptoms include hypocrisy, racism, irrationality, and, of course, utter stupidity. I have an older brother who is also affected by it, so the issue is quite close to me."

I snort, loudly, and the smirk he sends directly my way tells me he knows exactly how I feel about that disease...though I honestly have no idea why he feels the need to rip Michael, he seemed pretty amazing to me.

"Something you may have also caught last night if you were paying even a lick of attention, is that the...lovely gentleman behind me is known as Alastor Moody, he will be assisting me with the more practical lessons throughout the semester."

He is about to continue when a noise sounds from outside. His eye narrow and he stalks over to the door to (i would imagine) to see what the ruckus is.

As soon as he opens the door I spot a can of paint floating just above his head. He steps forward before I can yell a warning.

 **CLANK, CRASH!**

Everyone sits in silent horror, staring at the now hot pink Professor Shurley. He wipes the goop away from his eyes and for a moment when they blink open I would swear they flash a shade of deep crimson, though when he blinks the colour remains the trademark ice blue I know so well…

 _Weird._

There is another moment's pause, then he turns to Madeye.

"Take over for a minute will you, Alastor, I'll be right back."

He turns to leave the room, but before the door closes we all hear him shout out a fair warning to his prey.

"You better hope you found a better hiding place than the last one Gabriel, because when I get my hands on you, little brother, you'll wish you could call on those pagan friends of yours!"

Gabriel has friends? Huh, who'd have thought?

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello! Wednesday is here which mean a new chapter! I will try to update every Wednesday if my class load permits it. Hope you enjoy the chapter and pls leave a review they really make my day!**


	7. Chapter 7

**| 7 |**

* * *

Before the door had even closed all the way behind Professor Shurley, Moody was already standing at the front of the class looking sinister.

I couldn't tell why but I was already getting weird vibes from this guy. And when I get weird vibes from people they are normally right, I mean last time it turned out that the guy had Voldemort stuck to the back his head.

"Now who can tell me what this year's courses will be preparing you for next year?"

Naturally, Hermione raises her hand to answer, "Our OWL's, professor?" She says the end with uncertainty, was this man considered our professor as well?

"Exactly, Miss?"

"Granger." She replies, throwing a smirk in my direction.

"Tell me, Miss Granger, do you know why such material must be covered in your OWL's?"

She pauses, throwing me a small and wary glance, one which even Draco catches, "how do you mean, sir?"

Something about the way Moody smiles instantly causes the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. This guy is off, I know it.

"I mean, Miss Granger, why must all wizard learn DADA in order to be certified as proper citizens in wizarding society?"

Hermione's eyes narrow, and her voice goes low "according to the ministry, we must acquire such skills because it is possible that we will require them to defend ourselves against a potential threat that may occur in the future. This is particularly important, given the inclination of wizards to use dark, usually lethal magic when they go Dark."

Madeyes smile somehow gets even sharper, "and what are the three deadliest curses that a Dark wizard could use against a person that they would be required to use such knowledge?"

I DO NOT like where this is going.

From the corner of my eye, I see Draco's eyes widen, and he makes a sharp jerking motion with his head as if saying " don't go there" but if Mad-eye wants to go there I WILL go there.

Hermione turns to face me, and though no words leave her lips, we have a brief conversation.

" _I don't like where this is going, should I answer?"_

" _Neither do I, but let's see how far this guy willing to go. Better to know right off the bat"_

Hermione turns back to the front of the room, but before she answers I hear Draco hiss from beside me, "just because you two can have a silent conversation from across the room, doesn't mean you should!"

I smirk without looking at him, "jealous?"

He remains silent, and though normally I would turn to see his reaction, I am distracted by Hermione's response.

"The three unforgivable's are the most deadly; the Imperious Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, and the Killing Curse," Hermione says, her voice steady and her stance sure. That's my girl.

Mad-eye then, without another word, walks over to Professor Shurley's desk and sticks his hand into one of the many jars containing who knows what. Apparently, this one contained a scary ass spider.

"Let's do at little demonstration then." He says, making the spider larger than it was originally.

Hermione and I both shift uncomfortably in our seats.

"Sir, I don't think. . ." she begins.

"Imperio." He says, cutting her off.

Suddenly the spider is flying around the room landing on people's arms and desks. This was no way to be using such a curse. Who does this guy think he is.

I'm just about to say something when I'm cut off by Draco grabbing my arm, I turn to see that the spider has now landed on his face and is crawling into his hair. It took everything for me not to laugh.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" he cries, waving his free hand that wasn't holding my arm in the air frantically.

I grab the nearest book and swing it towards Draco's head, which in hindsight probably wasn't the smartest idea. Just before it connects with the spider atop his head, Mad-eye the git decides to move on to his next victim. Which accidentally leads me to wack Draco upside the head with my textbook.

"Owww," Draco complains, rubbing the side of his head.

"Well it's gone isn't it." I counter.

He rubs the side of his face with also brushing his hands through his hair worried the spider might somehow still be on his head.

"Okay, now he's crossed a line." He says, yanking the textbook out of my hand. He probably didn't want me to have any kind of projectile to throw at him. I hear a scream from across the room and see that he's now terrorizing a poor Ravenclaw girl while laughing.

Okay. THAT'S IT!

I grab my wand from out of my robes and climb on top of my desk.

"HEY, ODIN WANNA HERE!" I scream trying to get his turns his attention to me, leaving the poor Ravenclaw alone.

"Excuse me, Miss Potter, but I don't think you have any right to . . ."

"Excuse me, you FAT WANKER! But I believe that the whole class has seen enough of your so-called why don't you return the spider to its case and sit the hell down." I exclaim, pointing my wand at his face.

"MISS POTTER! How dare you speak to a teacher that way. 50 points from Slytherin for disrespecting a teacher. And . . ."

"Expelliarmus!" I exclaim, his wand goes flying out of his hand and into my waiting one.

"You were saying?" I smirk, tossing Mad-eyes wand down to Draco on the ground.

"WHAT the BLOODY HELL is going on!" I hear from behind me.

Unanimously, everyone turns to the classroom entrance to find Professor Shurley standing in the doorway, looking utterly enraged.

HA! Fucker's going down!

"Can someone please explain what has could have possibly happened in the 15 minutes I was gone, and why?!"

I pause, considering my options, though by the way his eyes shift from Numbnuts to me tells me that he expects an explanation from one of us, at least.

"Well, sir, that depends."

His eyes focus on me and narrow dangerously, "on what?"

"How long have you been standing there?"


	8. Chapter 8

**| 8 |**

* * *

 **Castiel POV**

I am just finishing loading my plate with mashed potatoes when I hear a disgruntled sigh next to me. I turn to find Harriette has taken a seat beside me, and (based on the look on her face) she is in quite a bad mood. I hear another sigh behind me and turn to find Hermione, also with a put-upon look on her face. Something must have occurred in DADA.

I hope Professor Shurley didn't get too angry. Hell tended to freeze over when he got overly upset.

I glance over at the Slytherin table and wince. Based on Gabriel's pink hair, whatever had occurred had most certainly involved him to some extent.

This did not bode well.

Deciding not to delay any further I turn to Harriet and cock my eyebrow. Instantly she scowls and says simply " Mad-eye is going to be a problem".

I smile slightly and reach across the table to the tray closest to Balthazar. Grabbing a Treacle Tart, I turn to back to my exasperated friend and hold the treat out in front of me.

'Is it a problem a tart can't fix?" I ask simply.

Instantly that gains me a laugh from both Harriet and Hermione. I call that a win. Harriett's laughter is suddenly cut off when she spies something behind me. Turning to get a better view, I find that Draco Malfoy not two feet beyond my nose. Oh Dear.

He gives a genuine smile towards me, but I realize that it isn't directed at me at all. He walks closer and sits down across from Harriet. His smile then turns into a bit of a smirk.

"By the way Harriet, love your hair today."

Oh Draco, you poor fool. From the corner of my eye, I can see Balthazar snickering into his cup and Hermione rolling her eyes simultaneously as I sigh in exasperation.

Instantly, Harriet's eyes narrow and she frowns, snarling out a "Piss Off Malfoy" and then storming off to the Gryffindor table to sit next to Ron.

Malfoy looks absolutely baffled, turning to me in question.

"What did I do?"

Hermione groans and leaves to go join Harriet and Ron, leaving me to deal with the ever-suffering pureblood. From his spot at the table, Balthazar is still snickering.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter what you say at this point kido, sorry to say." Gabriel's voice pipes up from behind him.

Draco shrieks at his sudden appearance and I glance at Balthazar, who only shrugs knowingly.

Once he calms down enough to speak he turns sharply to Gabriel and spits out, "where the bloody hell did you come from?... and what the hell do you mean by that!?"

Gabriel winces a little, "to question a) the answer is, unfortunately, literal Hell. Don't piss off big bro in front of new assistant teachers, it sets him off. Who knew?"

He smirks then, "to question b) however, my friend are screwed."

Draco looks at him warily (which, really is the smartest thing he's done since he's sat down) and asks, "why's that?"

Gabriel's smirk widens, "because my friend are in what the muggles call the 'friend zone'."

Draco looks taken aback for a moment and sneers. "I am not in the friend zone."

Balthazar scoffs from across the table, "Darling, you're the King of the friend zone."

Oh, this isn't going to end well.

In a high pitched voice, Balthazar looks pointedly at the young Malfoy before drawling, "'By the way Harriet, love your hair today.' What the fuck kind of complement is that?"

Draco goes a deep shade of red and Bal simply laughs at his pain as all good friends do.

"Honestly, what next, are you going to ask to braid her hair?"

Draco splutter's and Gabriel cackles beside him.

"Truly, Draco you're being a. . "

He stops short and looks at something behind me, his nose wrinkling in distaste.

"Oh, dear lord. Speaking of idiots."

Suddenly there are hands are either side of me on the table and I can feel someone's chest pressed up against my back.

The sudden absence of Gabriel's loud gwaffs is echoing.

"How are you doing today, beautiful?" the tall Gryffindor breathes in my ear. I slowly turn to look at the tall Gryffindor

I pause, stumped, "um, I don't…"

"I'm great" is followed by the sharp thud of the fork being lodged into the table between Dean's thumb and pointer finger, his terrified gaze following mine to look into Harriet's enraged face.

"Thanks for asking" she finishes with a sharp-toothed smile.

I glance over at Balthazar to find his grin is practically splitting his face in half, but a glance at Gabriel reveals that the golden-eyed trickster is just as confused as I am.

Gabriel cocks his head and asks slowly, "alrighty. Have we met?"

Dean diverts his horrified eyes from Harriet to Gabriel, seeming to snap out of the daze his after near impaling left him. He opens his mouth to answer but is abruptly cut off.

"Mister Winchester. At it again I see. And only on the second day. You and I are going to have quite the problem, I think…" Professor Shurley says from behind me, looking particularly sinister.

Dean looks stunned. "What," he asks, slowly.

Uh oh.

Professor Shurley looks even less amused if that's possible.

"First you use derogatory names and phrases to references, my student, then you disregard punctuality when facing corrective measures, and now I catch you actually physically attacking the very same student you were punished for disrespecting in the first place." he snarls, teeth looking particularly sharp around the edges.

Dean squints his eyes, peering first at the fork embedded in the table, then at Harriet's smirking visage from behind Gabriel, and then finally back at Professor Shurley.

"What?" he asks again, his voice taking a bit higher of an octave.

Professor Shurley's eyes narrow into slits, and his jaw clenches dangerously.

"Detention, Mister Winchester. For the next three months. And this time, do try to be on time."

He turns to stalk away, Gabriel muttering a quiet "wise words from Satan" as he disappears into the sea of students leaving the great hall.

Dean's mouth drops open, and he turns back to the table, where the fork is still embedded in the table a mere millimeter away from his thumb.

Harriet snorts from her place behind Gabriel, her smile taking a decidedly smug edge.

"Have fun, Wincester." she bites out cheerfully before walking away herself.

Dean looks utterly lost, finally managing to say "What?!" fairly loudly, once Harriet had also vanished from the great hall.

Gabriel squints his eyes and peers closely at Dean, asking "okay, who are you, and what the hell did you do?" rather pointedly.

Dean remains too stunned to answer, but Balthazar is not so inhibited. He rolls his eyes and stands from the table, stretching his back as he does so.

"This is the idiot that declared that Cassie dearest here was "tappable" in front of myself and your lovely brother," he says simply, giving Dean a pointed look.

Tappable? Is that code for something?

Gabriel's eyes widen in realization, and he turns to give Dean an assessing look, his eyes flashing a vibrant gold.

"Ah" is all he says, as he smirks and shakes his head, getting up to walk away.

Meanwhile, Balthazar reaches across the table, over a completely thunderstruck Draco, to pull the fork out of the hardwood. He scoffs again, shaking his head as well, before laying the offending utensil next to dean's hand.

"See you tonight, Wincester." he says sardonically, following Gabriel's departure.

"I really hope that doesn't stick, it's not particularly flattering." a voice says from the Ravenclaw table, directly next to our own house table. I turn to find Samuel Winchester quietly reading a potions textbook as he finishes his lunch.

Dean turns to him sharply, picking up the fork to wave rather dramatically around in the air for no reason that is readily apparent to me (perhaps for effect?).

"Why didn't you say anything in my defense?! You were sitting there the entire time, you know I did absolutely nothing! I could have died!"

Samuel sighs, sipping his glass and closing his book, "don't be dramatic Dean." he says by way of response.

He turns to me, smiling in a way all siblings do when faced with the issues that come with being the youngest.

"It's nice to see you again, Castiel, by the way. I hope your day goes well," he says, departing without another glance toward his elder brother. Smart boy.

Draco finally comes out of his daze, turning to me with a desperate glint in his eye that promises, even more, dramatics, along with a touch of hysteria.

"What the bloody hell just happened?!" he shouts, utterly lost.

Dean scowls at him, looking once more at the hole in the wooden table where his hand had been. "Fuck if I know!" he snarls and walks away.

Strangely, I too wonder the same thing.

* * *

 **Authors Note: So this chapter came a little sooner than expected so be happy! Hope you all enjoy and please review and let us know how you are liking the story so far?**


	9. Chapter 9

**| 9 |**

* * *

 **Draco POV**

Father's not going to believe what has transpired over this past month in the letter I sent him yesterday. I should also hope he does not show mother his letter in comparison to hers, for she will be quite scandalized by the exact details. That Wincester boy has quite the mouth on him. I hope father realizes that the language I used in the letter was only direct quotations. I would never utter such profanities, particularly not in front of Professor Shurley, as he tends to do.

Honestly, that boy has a death sentence…

Finishing my plate I turn to Harriet, who is in a deep debate with Theo about the Nimbus vs Comet brands and why one far surpasses the other. Clearly, Theo has been misinformed, and I find myself quite agreeing with Harriet about his mental capacities given his argument.

The Comet has absolutely nothing on the Nimbus 2001.

"I'm just saying, the Comet's are classics. You can always depend on them. While the Nimbus . . ."

Harriet cuts him off sharply, easily impassioned by such topics, simply stating "you're fucking wrong."

Blaise ever determined to wreak havoc ends his amused silence on the matter to point out "Harriet, women should not spew profanities, it's simply unbecoming."

The grin on his face gives away his otherwise undeterminable sarcasm, and Harriet shouts him an unimpressed look of fond amusement in response.

Gabriel smirks into his cupcake...where the bloody hell did he even get that?... and add his own two sense.

"Yes, Harriet, how very unbecoming of an heiress to two most noble houses", he says in an obnoxious fashion, grinning all the while.

Harriet smirks at them both, raising her glass to her lips in a delicate fashion before bothering to respond.

"I don't spew profanities", she says imperiously, placing her emptied cup back on the table, "I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady."

Theo spits his drink across the table, choking on his laughter.

Most, unfortunately, the regurgitated beverage manages to reach across the table, drenching me in the spittle infused pumpkin juice to the point where i am forced to reach for a napkin in order to reopen my eyes.

After I have managed to clear the foul substance from my face and successfully cowed Theo into appropriate levels of guilt, I turn to Harriet, who is still laughing.

"It's not funny", I seethe out, irritated with her lack of concern.

"Oh, of course not," she says "it's absolutely hilarious."

She turns to Theo then, still laughing, "honestly Knot, didn't you know it was unbecoming for the heir of an ancient and noble house to spew."

Gabriel high fives her. Blaise chuckles in amusement at their antics.

I scowl at all of them, "you're a Wanker, Potter. Now I have to go and change before the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students arrive. Father expects me to make a good impression you know, and I don't intend to bring such shame upon my house as you most certainly will to both of yours!"

She scoffs in return, utterly uncaring about what she seems to constantly deem as a trivial matter. I have no idea what that mutt of a godfather of hers is teaching her, but clearly, it's nothing good.

Blaise chuckles again, smirking in my direction. Oh, what is he going to do now?

"You sure your desire to look...presentable has nothing to do with the Veela students of Beauxbatons? You know, the ones every warm-blooded male wish they could see…"

Harriet scowls loudly, "seriously, Blaise? Some of us are trying to contain our lunches, thank you!"

I turn to Harriet, surprised. Surely she's not serious. She could put a Veela to shame, she must realize that.

"Honestly Harriet calm down, Veela are bred to be creatures of beauty and poise, and I mean for a regular witch, you certainly aren't doing so bad."

I watch her features go from upset to furious in one moment. This confuses me, what could I have possibly said wrong this time? At the same moment Theo, Blaise, and Gabriel all groan in unison.

"I'm not doing BAD? Oh well alright then Malfoy, I guess I'll just give up all hope of ever being as pretty as a Veela a girl." She shouts at me from the other side of the table.

"Wait, Harriet. What I meant was that Veela girls are just naturally prettier. . ."

The glass in her hand beings to crack under the pressure of her clenched fist and I pause. I can hear Theo mumble something about "giving up now" from beside me.

"What I mean to say is . . ." I try to start again.

"Don't bother, Malfoy. I think we all know exactly what you meant to say." Harriet snarls, before slamming her glass back on the table and stalking out of the great hall.

Blaise pipes up, " Well, on the bright side at least she didn't throw the glass at you."

Gabriel winces, "I'm more concerned about that burn, does anyone have any Aloe Vera."

Theo, about to take another drink from his hidden flask, pauses, "What in Merlin's name is Aloe Vera."

Gabriel slowly standing from the table, sighs dramatically, "purebloods, honestly."

Blaise shakes his head in disbelief, "Gabe, for the thousandth time, YOU ARE A PUREBLOOD."

Gabriel turns and grins, "different breed, Blaise, a different breed."

Blaise shouting after him, "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"

I hear this all in passing only as I stare after Harriets retreating figure.

"What the Bloody hell just happened?" I ask the table.

From behind me, I hear, "Again, Fuck if I know."

I turn behind me to see the Gryffindor table and its newest resident looking just as baffled as I am. Great even Castiel's little stalker doesn't know what's happening anymore. Merlin's beard am I fucked.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE: Hello Readers! So there's gonna be a change to the schedule for posting. I am co-writing this with my cousin who during the school year lives in a different city than me so we can only work on this when I'm home. This means I'll only be posting once a month, there should be another chapter at the end of the month beginning of march bc ill be home for reading week which means time to write together! Hope you all are enjoying so far! Leave us a review to let us know how we're doing!

-Hunter


	10. Chapter 10

**| 10 |**

* * *

 **Balthazar POV**

So, as predicted, last night was a shit show of boys whipping out their pretty little peckers and comparing sizes. Honestly, I'm not sure why anyone was surprised.

I sigh in exasperation as I sit down for breakfast, already done with the day before it has even begun. Next, to me Cedric Diggory is staring blankly across the room to the Ravenclaw table, where the young Miss Delacour is being fawned over.

Ah, young lust. I wonder how many young men and women I can convince to join me in expressing such desires at once. I'm betting 12. Time will tell I suppose.

Turning to fill my plate with as much grease as possible I notice Cassie sitting down across from me, Harriet and Hermione following soon after to her left. She glances up at me with a fond smile, and I am reminded that for all that lust can be fun, love is much more pleasant. Cassie has always been my favorite sibling, after all. Although according to some, she IS my only sibling, so, there's that.

A motion from Harriet draws my attention to her, only to find a deep-seated scowl on her face and a clear desire on her part to ensure that the bacon is truly dead, what with how violently she continues to stab it.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

I open my mouth to comment about Harriet's foul mood, perhaps draw a bit of a blush from her if I'm lucky when I notice Cedric snap out of his daze beside me. He shakes his head a little, then turns a confused glance at Cassie.

Well fuck.

Coughing slightly, I gain my dear sister's attention. As soon as our eyes meet she winces, blushes a bit, and then turns back to her friend.

Beside me, Cedric shakes his head again and then proceeds with his breakfast.

Adorable little clutz, little Cassie is.

Chuckling slightly to myself, I turn my attention back to Harriet, deciding I would chat with my ever over caring little sister later. Completely unsurprisingly, Hari continued to impale her bacon with quite a bit more force than was strictly necessary.

"Dear lord darling, what did that particular pig ever do to you?" I ask eyebrow cocked in interest.

Hari starts and looks up at me in surprise. She then returns her gaze to the brutalized chucks of meat in front of her. She blushes and returns a sheepish gaze to me.

"Erm… bad night" she says quietly. Gee, I hadn't guessed.

I cock my eyebrow at her and abandon my breakfast for now, "Let me guess. . ." I glance over towards the Slytherin table. "Malfoy?"

"Malfoy." She confirms, stabbing her bacon once again.

Honestly, sometimes I really wish someone would smack that boy before he talks. Before I could even try to talk to Hari about what happened a hush falls over the room as Headmaster Dumbledore stands at his podium.

"Good morning, students! I like to make another official welcome to our guest from near and far to Hogwarts once again. A special treat for all of you this morning, classes are canceled for the day. I want you all to go outside and enjoy the day and all start to get to know one another."

Oh bloody hell, Luci was not going to like this.

"I told him this wasn't a good idea, but no, no one ever listens to me. Even when I'm always right." He says while walking past the Hufflepuff table.

Speak of the devil. . .

Gabriel, like always, suddenly appears next to me muttering, "yeah, always right my ass." As he snatches the bacon off my plate.

"What was that little brother?" Professor Shurley, who two seconds ago was on the opposite side of the table and walking the opposite direction is suddenly standing behind us. Damn are only the Shurley's capable of getting away with that? That's hardly fair.

"And he shall appear," I mutter under my breath.

He grabs us both by our shirt collars and yanks us off the seat slightly.

"I'll see you both in detention tonight, Winchester will finally have someone to complain to other than me." He snarls, dropping us back in our seats. He whips around, his robes whacking us as he retreats.

I turn to Gabriel and meet his eyes, "Typical" we say in unison.

"Tomorrow night as well boys!" We hear from down the hall, Professor Shurley then shutting the great hall door behind him.

I swear to god he has eyes in the back of his head, I shiver. What a thought.

"Do all Hogwarts teachers assault their students in such a way?" I hear from behind me. Gabriel and I both turn to see two Beauxbatons students from the Ravenclaw table looking at us. A boy and a girl whose golden blonde hair almost seemed to sparkle in the morning light, damn Veela's.

"Professor Shurley's like family," I answer.

"He is family for me," Gabriel adds with a shutter. "Unfortunately."

Castiel then finally decides to add in her commentary on the matter. "It would help if the two of you didn't antagonize him as much as you do."

Gabriel takes another bite of his eggs and then gives Cas a toothy grin.

"Now what would be the fun in that?"

Normally his smug grin would be quite irritating, exceedingly so given I got in trouble as well. Considering who he was in trouble with, I can't really be that surprised.

"At least it's not Raphy," I shutter. "Think of what he'd make us do."

Gabriel cringes, "Let's not go there."

At that moment I look up from my plate and see that during those few moments the Beauxbatons students that we had been talking too had moved to the opposite side of the table. They were also sitting on either side of Cas.

"So Beauxbatons doesn't have a house system? Interesting." I hear Cas say to the boy on her left.

Bollocks

It seems my little sister is gathering a bit of attention this year, from both genders at that. Can't say I'm surprised though she does have my genes.

From beside me, Gabriel narrows his eyes at the obviousness of what the two are trying to do, which to be fair, I'm all for everyone getting to experience a threesome - just not anywhere near poor naive little Castiel.

"You gonna step in to defend your sister virtue there, Bal, cause those two look like they're out to get it," Gabriel says with half-cocked eyebrow, glancing back in my direction.

I sigh, ready to step in, when I catch sight of the irritable ravenette with luminescent green eyes next to Cassie. Ah, well then…

"Somehow, I don't think that'll I'll need to. Looks like someone else has got it handled" I say with a grin in his direction.

Next, to Cassie, Harriet finally has enough and snaps.

"Um, excuse me? Who are you, exactly?" she says with a sneer, immediately catching both culprits attention.

I smile. Problem solved.

Both Beauxbatons students turn to look at her curiously, then turn back to look at Castiel. When they turn back to her, their smiles are back in place, and the female one drapes herself over both Cassie dear and young Harriet in a provocative manner.

...or not…

Harriet flushes, but then she grins. "The name's Harriet, and this is Castiel. Nice to meet you."

Well, Fuck.

Gabriel snorts beside me, and once again I move to intervene.

Once again I am stopped short by someone else.

Draco steps in from somewhere to the left of us, clearly feeling like the territorial little moron that he is. Next, to him, the Winchester moron likewise decides he has something to prove.

This will go well…

"Good evening Miss. Reelaue, Mr. Reelaue, I see you've met our lovely Miss Potter and Miss Novak, but I should introduce myself. My name is Draco Malfoy, my father, Lucius Malfoy is friends with your father. If you would like, I could give you a tour of the school. Let these young ladies finish their breakfast, I'm sure they won't mind…"

Oh, you fucking idiot. Across from me, I watch green eyes turn absolutely acidic.

Yep, Malfoy is going to need a new heir. This one is about to lose his ability to procreate…

Harriet snarls, "oh, you're sure we won't mind, are you Malfoy? Heaven forbids someone of such high societal standing would want to associate with such lowlifes as Castiel and me." her eyes narrow to slits, "perhaps you should lower your nose, your highness, if you're not careful, who knows what will fly up it!"

His eyes widen in shock, and his jaw falls slack. Next, to me, I hear Gabriel snort again, muttering a quiet " get wrecked" in summary of that amazing display of testosterone gone wrong…

Next up, Mr. Dean Winchester. Let's see how he fares.

"Speaking of noses in the air, aren't you two a bit out of place here? I thought Beauxbaton students had decided to sit at the Ravenclaw table - you would think the huffenduffs would be beneath your notice."

From beside me Gabriel proceeds to choke on his drink, and I catch the word Huffenduffs spit out as he tries to breathe. Behind the elder Winchester, his younger (and apparently much more intelligent) brother whips around to stare at him incredulously, dropping his fork in the process.

When the elder brother remains straight-faced, clearly unaware of his folly, the younger's eyes narrow up at him.

Over the hush that falls over practically the entire great hall the words "fucking idiot" carry from Samuel Winchester's lips quite clearly.

Dean's face falls, evidently finally realizing he did something wrong.

"What?" he asks, looking at Castiel in question.

I can't believe it. He actually fared worse than Draco! That might actually break a record!

"Dean" Castiel voice resounds, clear and authoritative.

Oh shit.

"I do not know what you are trying to achieve by spouting such hateful and unkind sentiments to our guests, but whatever it is, you have clearly failed. If you have such an issue with my house, or, for that matter, any house, this is not the way to make it know, nor to have it resolved."

Her eyes grow sorrowful and assessing, piercing the doomed Gryffindor through his very soul (something she is quite good at, let me tell you!).

"What's more," she continues quietly, clearly upset, "your words are hurtful to myself and my house, and if they truly are what you think, then perhaps it would be best if you were to leave. This is our house table. If you have an issue with me, with us, then we shall be sure to avoid you. Given how little you clearly think of us."

Dean stands flabbergasted behind Cassie, clearly at a complete loss on how to respond. Normally I'd speak up, but to be quite frank, Cassie slaughtered him so badly, I actually feel a little bad for the poor fool.

"Wait! I didn't do anything?!" he says incredulously.

Nevermind.

Draco, by some miracle, seems to realize that something has gone terribly wrong, and attempts to backtrack.

"Alright then, I think I'm going to go," Draco says quietly, quickly veering around the still befuddled Winchester boy to leave the great hall. Smart move...for once.

From the head table, Professor Shurley must have realized something was up, as he stalks down from his perch to investigate. He marches directly over to our little group with narrowed eyes, no doubt scouting who to yell at.

His eyes reach Cassie's face (sorrowful expression still highly prominent) and he stops short, practically doing a double take.

His eyes narrow further.

"What is going on over here?!" he hisses, clearly ready to deduct points at the least.

When his eyes settle on Gabriel, Gabriel responds with "oh, not much. Though if you must know, you've been outdone as the biggest bag of dicks in the school. Congrats!"

Immediate, he turns to Winchester senior.

For his part, Dean Winchester says very little as a way of response. Turning away from Cassie to face the scary DADA professor with little more than a sigh.

Professor Shurley opens his mouth to say something, but Winchester cuts him off.

"I know, I know, I have detention for the rest of the school year. Whatever." he turns once more to look at Cassie, clearly attempting to catch her eye, but she resolutely ignores him.

He sighs and stalks from the hall.

Professor Shurley's mouth shuts with a click, and he quickly turns back to Gabriel, eyebrows raised.

"All I was going to ask was if he could provide a better explanation. What was that about?"

"He deserved the detention, sir," Cassie says quietly, voice raw with emotion.

Professors Shurley's eyes widen, and then narrow again.

"Very well," he grits, "50 points from Gryffindor then, as well."

He turns to me with a snarl, "and if anyone asks why you can tell them exactly who to blame!"

Professor Shurley turns back to the head table, leaving our ragtag group silent in his wake.

Well, that went… actually, that somehow went far worse than I expected…

In front of me, Veela #1 and #2 snap out of their own shock and begin attempting to 'comfort' Cassie. Harriet provided absolutely no protest at all.

Sigh. My turn, I suppose.

I grin, catching the attention of both our 'guests' quite effectively.

"So, what's this I hear about your school getting a tour of the Durmstrang boat?" I ask with my best charming smile.

Beside me, Gabriel becomes wary.

"Well, not yet." the girl pipes up, grinning slyly incomprehension, "why do you ask?"

"Perhaps you can sneak me on board. See if its as well furnished as they say" I say with a leer.

Any response they might have had is cut off by both Gabriel and Castiel shouting.

"NO!" "DON'T LET HIM ON THE BOAT" they scream simultaneously.

Oh, for fuck's sakes.

"It was one boat! Let it go already!" I snarl. Will I never hear the end of this?!

Gabriel sounds next to me tersely, "One boat. THREE FUCKING TIMES! You had one job! You fucked it up, THREE TIMES!"

Oh, sue me. The first was an accident. The second and third...well...You Only Live Once

Cassie shakes her head, clearly exasperated. "You're lucky Atropos and Naomi are close, otherwise you would still be in trouble."

I glare at her, though it's only half-hearted. "No, I'm lucky she finally decided to have that stick removed. And I'm unlucky you and Gabe here seem to have no sense of humor."

Gabriel and Cassie both roll their eyes. "Don't let him on the boat!" they say simultaneously, again.

"Trust me," Cassie adds.

Honestly, can I ever catch a break?!

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

It is March 1st which means a new chapter! Hope you all enjoy this one. We had fun coming up with Bals POV it was very interesting to write to say the least! Next chapter will be up on April 1st, which means it will have a prank cause we couldn't pass up that chance. Let's just say Gabe has little fun with his big brother. See you in a month!

-Hunter


	11. Chapter 11

**Dean POV**

* * *

Cas still isn't talking to me, and I still don't know why. I tried to ask Sam, but he's being a little bitch about it...as per usual.

Also, half the school now hates me….I knew this year was going to suck.

I try not to grumble as I meander down the bazillion sets of stairs for breakfast, key word being try. Honestly, this school needs to invest in an elevator, or at least make the stairs move vertically as _well as horizontally!_

Reaching the corridor that leads to great hall, I pause to catch my breath, gazing through the open doors.

Huffing, I head in. I stop short just inside the double doors, where three very familiar faces stand smirking in front of me.

Oh, this spells trouble.

Gabriel is furthest from me, finishing painting something on the floor with...pink paint.

I think is some sort of variation of the Pentagram used to ward off demonic possession.

….where did he even get that from?

On either side of the...drawing?...Fred and George stand looking at me with large smiles.

Why am I friends with these lunatics again?

Deciding the only way I was going to get any answers was by straight up asking, I pipe up with a simple, "what are three doing, and more importantly, why haven't you been stopped?"

Fred and George laugh in response, "well, we pulled a dandy this morning, setting the entire faculty's alarms to go off an hour late, but apparently Gabe has a second part planned."

They both turn to look at the painted pentagram on the floor sceptical, finishing with, "though, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what exactly he's planned, he won't give us a straight answer…"

Oh, this spells serious trouble….

Gabe finishes up his...picture...and stands with a scowl, looking to both sibling with afront.

"I told you! We're going to summoning Satan!"

….Wait….What!?

The twins share a look, scoffing. "Sure" they say in unison.

….he's joking, right?

"Gabriel? ….You do realize, that's a pentagram….right? You know, like, demonic symbol pentagram?"

He scoffs again, "obviously"

Next to him, the twins turn back to the symbol, a bit more wary.

Well fuck, this is going to end poorly.

The back door (the one the staff usually uses) to the great hall opens to admit several disgruntled looking teachers, Snape looking particularly murderous. Strangely, Shurley is missing.

Gabriel casts a Tempus charm, revealing the time.

"Where's your brother?" I ask him, deciding it was better to be safe than sorry.

Gabriel smirks at me, "oh, he'll be here. I left him a midnight surprise, so he should be getting out of the shower right about…."

Oh, this is definitely going to end poorly.

"NOW!" Gabriel shouts, resulting in the entire great hall turning to look at us.

Not even a moment later, the paint on the ground begins to glow ominously…

...Oh fuck.

Several of the faculty stand to approach, but by the time any of them are around the head table the pentagram is already a literal column of light.

I can see something land within.

OH FUCK!

Thinking quickly, I leap forward to pull Fred and George behind me, having no time to get to the still grinning Gabriel.

The column dissipates, and look into the eyes of that within…

...the striking familiar ice blue eyes of the one within…

...Professor Shurley's eyes?!

He squints at me, hissing an irritable, and slightly confused "Mr. Winchester" through clenched teeth.

I open my mouth to respond but I stop short when my eyes catch a flash of red. I look down….

….to find the the professor is wearing nothing but a towel….

….one that is not covering very much at all….

OK, I am SO not taking the fall for THIS one!

His eyes follow mine, and widen when he realises, and he rapidly turns his gaze back up at the slack jawed twins and I in rage.

He opens his mouth to (no doubt) scream his head off, but is cut off by the little shit behind him.

"Hey bro" is all Gabriel says, resulting in the beast turning around sharply.

I can't see his expression from this angle, but by the tensing of his shoulders I can tell he's either pissed, or utterly horrified.

...probably both.

The entire great hall, including the faculty stares wide eyed in silence.

...and then Gabriel starts to laugh. The asshole.

From the Gryffindor table Lavender Brown's voice carries, "damn...too bad he had a towel"

Balthazar's voice is less subtle, "oh fuck, now I need brain bleach!"

"I agree," I respond loudly, trying desperately not to look in the direction of the naked educator (unlike the majority of the female student body, and some of the male) "got any extra?"

Balthazar smiles at me savagely, "only if you want to drink the bottle."

From across the room, Harriet (with one hand covering her eyes) pipes up, "I wasn't listening, but I agree!"

"I was asking for brain bleach, to get rid of the image this is conjuring!" I clarify agrily, trying to tune out the hissed words Professor Shurley is spouting in another language, for fear of catching sight of anything else.

"I agree to that too." Harriet replies moodily.

"Really?" that's actually kind of surprising.

She turns to look at me with distaste.

"Nevermind, I take it back." she says haughty. Bitch.

From the head table, a voice cuts through the silence, "well, as entertaining as this may be…"

The headmaster looks amused, but also kinda confused...join the club.

"Perhaps you should robe yourself more thoroughly, Lucifer, before commencing with breakfast…"

...Lucifer? That's a weird thing to call a colleague.

Professor Shurley turns sharply from Gabriel (who is still rolling on the ground at this point) to look at Dumbledore in what I'm guessing is pure rage.

"TRUST ME, headmaster, if I could LEAVE this wretched circle, I WOULD!" he snarls, spinning back to Gabriel.

"You have three seconds, Gabriel, then all bets are off!" he says in english, though Gabriel only responds by laughing harder.

Ah, the joy of having a younger brother. I think I might actually relate be able to the asshat on this one.

..oh, that's an unpleasant thought. Moving on.

"Common Luci! Give em a show! Heaven knows how much you like to preen!" Gabriel manages to choke out between gwaffs.

From the Slytherin table, I can hear Fire Zukini mutter to another snake beside him, "well, there goes are chances of winning the house cup this year…" he deadpans

The boy next to him scoffs, "yeah, but the Gryffindorks have the twins and Winchester senior, so neither will they."

Snakes are such assholes.

From the area deemed 'do not look for fear of having my eyes burned out of their sockettes' Gabriel and Professor 'owns too small towels' have switched back to the unfamiliar language they were speaking earlier. The hall remains mostly silent, with a few whispered comments here and there. Apparently, naked teachers are a good way of shutting people up.

Behind me, I hear a footsteps scurrying down the corridor, only to stop short somewhere to my right.

Cas was late to breakfast. Maybe she'll talk to me now?

Cas looks adorable when she tilts her head to the side, and I can see her working through what happening in her head. She turns to look at me curiously.

She's looking at me! Progress!

"I have no idea. I was late too, I only just walked in as it happened" I say, trying my damndest to come off as sincere.

Cas likes Professor Shurley. I do not want to piss her off again. Gabriel can take the blame for this one, I want no part.

….ok, also? Professor Shurley looks ready to commit mass genocide. And that's kinda terrifying, sooooo….

Cas's speaks up, sounding… not confused but more esaperated than anything else.

"Gabriel, what did you do?"

Gabriel cackles again from the floor "holy oil and sulphuric paint!"

...what does that even mean?

Cas sighs, shaking her head at his antics, "one of these days Gabriel, someone is going to give you a taste of your own medicine."

"On, TRUST ME, Castiel, it won't be long from now!" the trapped professor growls out.

Cas nods at him, quietly approaching the pink circle surrounding him, and then swiftly pulling out her wand and pointing at it. She waves it downward, leaving a break in the paint.

"Thank you, Castiel," the professor bites out, turning immediately back to Gabriel afterwards.

"This isn't over, little brother! Mark my words!" he seethes.

Yep, Gabriel's gonna die.

The professor gets a good grip of his towel (thank god!) and turns to stalk from the room.

Gabriel (the idiot) shouts after him, "Happy Devil's night Luci! Maybe that'll teach you to get BIGGER TOWELS!"

The professor doesn't even turn around, instead calling over his shoulder "IT'S NINE IN THE MORNING, GABRIEL!"

Behind him, the doors to the great hall close with a resounding BANG.

Cas sighs again, the turns to me. "Good morning, Dean," she says before turning to walk toward the Ravenclaw table to sit with her group of friends.

She talking to me!

Gabriel finally manages to pulls himself off the floor to go sit with the rest of his table, and after looking up toward the head table to find Professor McGonagall giving us The Look, me and the twins decide to follow him.

Sitting down, we find Fire and he boy he was talking to earlier scowling at us, with Malfoy pretending we don't exist. What else is new.

"Really, Gabriel, must you practically give the Puffs and Claws the house cup every year?" the unknown snake snarks (heh, snake snarks, say that ten time fast!)

"Oh, come off it Theo! That was comedy gold!" is Gabe's response.

"Your brother is going to murder you in your sleep." Fire deadpans.

I snort, "yeah, I agree with Zukini Gabe, you're a dead man walking."

Gabriel spits out his drink, and the twins both fall out of their seats in laughter.

What did I say now?!

Fire gapes at me, "what did you just call me?!"

Oh, shit. "Um, Zukini? Is that not your name? Fire Zukini?"

He goes to draw his wand in anger (so I guess that's a no, then?) when Sam (from across the fucking room) shouts, "Blaise Zambini, moron!"

Oh….well fuck.

Staring down my nose at the wand pointed at my chest, I'm just about to claim innocence (i mean, come on, i was close!) when Gabe manages to speak again.

Cackling like a hyena he says dramatically, "and then, out of nowhere, the Fire Nation attacked!"

Blaise (apparently) stops short, and turns to Gabriel warily, "what?"

"Come on, haven't you ever seen Avatar?" Gabe asks seriously.

Theo (I think that was his name anyway) responds with, "um, no?"

Gabe scoffs again, "bloody uncultured purebloods and their naivete."

Blaise lowers his wand to rub at his temple, "for the last fucking time Gabriel, YOU ARE A PUREBLOOD"

Gabe waves his hand through the air dismissively. What is he on?

"Give up Blaise, it's a lost cause." Theo tells him.

Thankfully, this calms him down enough to forget about my fuck up.

Thank you Gabriel!

Wait, I forgot to ask about earlier.

"Gabriel, why didn't your brother react when the headmaster called him Lucifer earlier? Seems kinda harsh, doesn't it, given the circumstances."

Gabriel looks at me like I've grown a second head, and glancing around I see he isn't the only one.

Draco finally gives up trying to ignore us to answer me.

"Winchester, Lucifer is his name. Lucifer Samael Shurley, second in line to the most noble house of Lord Shurley," he says slowly, like I'm some dumb little kid.

...Wait, What?

"Lucifer? like...Satan, Lucifer?" I ask, flabbergasted.

Gabriel snorts, "yup, the one and only."

I gape. "That explains SO MUCH!"

Finally, something in this fucking school makes sense!

* * *

 **Authors Note:** Hello! Happy April Fools Day! Hope you all enjoy this months chapter! School will be ending in a few weeks which means ill be heading home for the summer! Yay me! It also means that I will be reunited with my co-author and lovely cousin. So keep an eye out for more fequent updates once May rolls around!


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